Evil Bus Lady & Other Diversions

So, the new job…

It’s going to be…interesting. I know that sounds like Oh, man. He doesn’t like it. But it’s not that at all. There’s so much stuff that I’d love to get into, but in the interest of finishing my MOUNT RUSHMORE book (that’s due in 9 days!) and getting back in the saddle with GOODHALO, I think I’ll make this short n’ sweet.

Day 1 – Well, this was sort of a no-big-deal kind of day. I went through orientation at the corporate HQ and it was…you know, orientation. We talked about payroll, and vacations, and benefits and all sorts of other crap. I learned that I wasn’t going to get my id badge to get into the hospitals, clinics and all that other jazz until I got to the downtown St. Paul location. Okay. Fine. Great.

The funny thing? A bunch of friends and family asked me how my first day was and I didn’t have really any stories to tell ’em.

Day 2 – So, my first official day on the job…today! I’d gone out on Sunday and bought a whole bunch of fancier clothes to wear. For some reason, I dressed like a slob at my old gig and no one seemed to mind. If given the choice between dressing up and dressing down, I’m ALWAYS going to pick dressing down. But now, I don’t know that I’ll be able to get away with that. My new job is sort of (dare I say it) important and stuff. I guess I gotta look the part. Anyway, the deal was, I needed to drop off Travis at daycare by 7:15am (Laura is/was out of town, so I was Mr. Mom for a couple o’ days) and I needed to be downtown St. Paul by 7:50am to meet my supervisor and hit a meeting.

I got a map to the parking lot I was supposed to go to and instructions to hop on a shuttle bus that would take me from the lot to the front door of the building. Easy, right? Wrong! I hit some major traffic on the way and had to manuever around and take a side-hatch to get to where I was going. I hit the parking lot at 7:40am and saw a little shuttle bus show up. I got out and booked to the bus. I was stoked. I was gonna make it on time!

Fun TKT Side Fact: I absolutely HATE to be late for anything. I’m like so on time it’s almost sick. I don’t know where I got it from, but it’s true. I’d rather be early than late. Maybe it’s respect for other people’s time or something. I don’t know.

As I hopped on the bus, an evil bus lady who looked like she was born in and was gonna die in the driver’s seat gave me the ultimate stink eye. “Where’s your name badge?” Her face scrunched up and looked like she’d eaten a turd sandwich dipped in garbage sauce. I politely smiled and said I was a ‘new guy’ and they didn’t issue one to me, yet. She went on and on about the badge and how she wasn’t supposed to drive me the 7 blocks to the building without one. I assured her that I’d get ‘all badged up’ and everything would be fine.

“What about your ve-hicle?” (that’s how she asked. Veee-hick-uhl.) “I’ll be you don’t have a tag for it, either.”

She got me. She aimed, she fired and she shot me down. I didn’t have a tag for my truck and was told a piece of paper with the name of my company would suffice until I got one. I told her the same and she clucked her dentures and shook her miserable head.

“Can’t guarantee it won’t get towed.”

I wanted to say: “Didn’t ask you to, stinky.” But I didn’t. You see, I’m really a nice guy.

The capper of the day? Oh, this is rich. I walked into the meeting and saw…

Wait. I need to toss in some back story here real quick. Be patient.

7 months ago, when I was training for my previous company, I had the absolute worst trainee ever. Ever. Ever. Ever. The guy was a former nurse, who became a trainer and when times were tough at his hospital, he had to go back to nursing. As such, he was forced to enroll in a class I taught 7 months ago. And…well, he never really got rid of that trainer mentality. EVEN IN CLASS. So, I suffered through a class where I’d taught nurses (new nurses, mind you) about how stuff worked and whatever and he’d tag-team (uninvited) and fill their heads with 18 levels of complexity. To say he sucked was a kindness. He was awful personified.

So…guess who was sitting in the meeting room with the rest of my new co-workers? THAT FRIGGIN’ GUY!

Yeah. I almost turned around right there and left. He’s the kind of guy who can’t remember I’m ‘Thomas’ not ‘Tom.’ He’s the kind of guy who will ask questions just to ask them…but with an agenda. He’ll ask questions he know there’s no way you can answer…just to make himself look smarter and impress anyone who cares (no one does).

The good news? I’ll see him maybe twice a month at meetings. That’s it. Our team doesn’t really work together. We work with our doctors and specialists and we regroup from time to time to hold a bi-monthly meeting. Thank whatever diety you look up to. Ugh.

Anyway. It’s still hard to tell how the new job is going to shake out. I’m going to be in classes for the next 3 weeks learning all kinds of stuff and I’ll be plenty busy trying to get my head wrapped around all this. It’s gonna be cool, though. I really think I landed a good gig at a great company and the people (for the most part: bus drivers and loudmouths aside) are cool.

Internets – Tomorrow night I get to meet Dan (This Man’s World) and Heidi (The Amazon Iowan). They’re coming into town to see ol’ Dolly Parton in concert and we figured since we’re such like-minded nerd, we might as well meet up. This will mark the first time I’ve met a fellow blogger/commenter/friend o’ the internet in person. We chatted it up for a few minutes tonight to secure a place to eat before the show and in true TKT form, I couldn’t shut up. I have a feeling things won’t even be the least bit awkward.

– Dan likes zombies
– Heidi is a writer
– They agreed to eat at Matt’s (home of the Jucy Lucy)
– Dan has a legendary Nerdery

It’s going to be historic, y’all. Expect a photo or two of this great meeting of the minds. Also, there will be cheese-filled cheeseburgers.

Short – So, I said this post was gonna be short. I LIED!