July 26, 2007

Categories: General

Tags: , , ,

Comments: 8

Thursday 13 – Version 5.0

Well, the Blogger gods didn’t want this update to happen, but I fought the law and I sort of think I won. Speaking of fighting the law…that’s a great subject for this week’s Thursday 13!

Peep this: 13 Best Celebrity Mugshots

1. Rip Torn – “If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball!” Well, it doesn’t look like ol’ Rip was able to dodge the po-lice. He got plenty ‘ripped’ (couldn’t resist) and ended up in the ol’ pokey.

Truth be told, Mr. Torn got all liquored up and slammed his 1995 Chevy Cavalier into a tractor-trailer.

He refused the breathalizer on the scene. Looks like he refused a comb before they took this delightful shot.

2. Tonya Harding – Oh, Tonya. Where have you been? After having your orangatan boyfriend club Nancy ‘The Teeth’ Kerrigan in the knee, we haven’t seen much of you.

Well, except for the Celebrity Boxing thing a number of years back.

Anyway, she looks like this dude I went to high school with, back when we wore mullets and listened to Pantera.

3. Haley Joel Osment – “I see high people.” Yes, it’s one of the ones I sort of forgot about until it came time to do this wacky TT. The kid who hung out with ghost Bruce Willis (spoilers!) was caught suckin’ down grandpa’s ol’ cough medicine and they found a bag of the marijuana on him.
Naughty, naughty Gump Jr.
The weird thing? He was driving (and crashed) a Saturn station wagon. Um…not to rip on grocery getters, but um…really?
4. Yasmine Bleeth – Oh, my god. I think I’m gonna BLEETH!!! You think she heard a lot of that kind of thing when she was growing up? I mean, no one would actually pick that last name, would they?

Anyway, this Baywatch beauty was caught with a whole snout-ful (and then some) of cocaine. I guess running across the beach with The Hoff finally got the best of her.

Not like he fared much better. Last time I saw him, he was drunk and eating a hamburger in the shower.
5. Daniel Baldwin – Remember when there was a time when a good chunk of the nation thought the Baldwin brothers were good looking dudes? “Oh, he’s so Baldwin.”

I think the definition of that expression is gonna change. Ol’ Danny Baldwin was caught borrowing a friends SUV without permission. A check of his motel room unearthed a bounty of drugs and paraphernalia.

“Dude. I got so Baldwinned last night.”

6. Michael Lookinland – Here’s the story…of a drunken Brady. I remember thinking the world was coming to an end. Bobby Brady? Drunk driving? No!!! It can’t be! What would Greg say? And Alice??? I bet she’d stop making his favorite cookies for like a day or two.
Truthfully, I don’t know what the biggest crime was. His boozing behind the wheel or that mustache.

Holy handlebars, Batman!
7. Billie Joe Armstrong – It looks like this heavy-lidded lead singer was truly having a ‘green day.’ (Thank you! I’ll be here all week!) After taking a spin in his BMW, BJ blew a whopping .18 in the breathalizer.

Talk about an American Idiot!

I just wonder if the rest of the people in the holding tank sang “Welcome to Paradise” to him as he staggered into the lock-up.
Eh. Probably not.

8. Macaulay Culkin – Ah…the trouble one can get into when they’re Home Alone. I mean, give the kid a break! Every time he turns around,

friggin’ Daniel Stern and Joe Pesci are trying to rob him.
You’d turn to illegal substances too if you had to keep fighting off the same goons by heating up doorknobs, covering them in paint, and shooting staples into their crotch.

Cut Mac some slack, would you?

9. Andre The Giant – My hat goes off to the police brave enough to arrest this guy. The 540 pound pro-wrestler roughed up a TV cameraman and got charged with assault. Hmmm…maybe he thought he was at work. Sometimes it’s hard to draw the line between the two.

But from the looks of the photo, I’d say they finally got a non-blurry shot of Sasquatch!
(Nice, Thomas. Ripping on a dead guy.)

10. Wynonna Judd – Oh, those wacky Judd gals. They’re all so unpredictable. I mean there’s the mom and then there’s Ashley Judd who’s…um.
Okay, so only Wynonna is the problem here. It’s a running theme, but she decided to take the themes of her songs, hit the road and wound up in a booze nightmare. I hate when that happens.
Is it me, or does she look like an over-weight Axl Rose in this shot?

11. Edward Furlong – This is the kid that’s supposed to stop the lead the revolution in the war against the machines? This is John Connor? Okay, so I’ve watched Terminator 2: Judgement Day one time too many.

But, dang. What happened to this kid? I mean besides not having enough dough for a haircut…

Turns out Eddie got himself liquored up and made his way to a grocery store where he tried to ‘liberate’ the live lobsters they kept there. Way to show ’em PETA!
12. Nick Nolte – My personal favorite of the bunch and always a crowd pleaser. Mr. Nolte, you are the grandaddy of mug shots. What with your ‘so what’ hair and ‘I just got back from the luau’ shirt.

You sir, are the standard every other celebrity mug shot needs to live up to.
Driving drunk, yadda yadda yadda.

Seriously. I couldn’t make my hair look like that if I tried. Good show, good sir.
13. Lindsay Lohan – Ah, yes. The inspiration for this week’s post. We all know the details by now. Girl goes to rehab. Girl comes back out all nice and squeaky clean. Girl even wears booze bracelet to keep out of trouble.

2 – 3 days later, girl is busted for driving drunk and having some nose powder on her person.

Looking good, Double L. Looking reaaaaal good.




Profile