Thursday 13 – Version 3.0

This time, I’m not messing around and posting my stuff late. It’s up and ready (BAM!) in the wee hours of the morning. But I’ll be honest. I’m putting my pride on the line this time around. I’m bearing my soul for the rest of the world (or at least the 3-4 people that read this) to take pot-shots at.

It’s like I’m standing buck-naked in front of a crowd…well, except for the naked part. Oh, and the crowd. There’s usually not a crowd.

So, here it is: 13 Things That Confirm I’m A Geek

1. Action Figures – I’ve got a lot of them. Some of them prominently displayed in my office. I’m not proud, but it’s one of them compulsive things. I see a cool toy or whatever and I buy it. Then I either store it never to look at it again or I put it up somewhere where I can draw off of it’s awesomeness. Within my sightline right now: Fat Bastard from Austin Powers, Scully & Mulder from The X-Files, The New Goblin from Spiderman 3, Boba Fett (fighting his way out of the Sarlaac Pit), and Treebeard from Lord of the Rings is totally back there somewhere too. Don’t believe me? Stay tuned for next week when I present: TKT Cribs.

2. Video Games – Yes. My name is Thomas and I have a problem. I’ve got far too many video games. It’s almost like a disease, except it’s much cooler (that’s what I tell myself) and there isn’t that dying thing attached to it that most diseases have. Also, no medicines. But yes, I’m not much of a TV watcher, so I tend to entrench myself totally in the lovely land o’ vids.

Fact nugget: Surgeons who play video games make 33% less mistakes in the Operating Room. FACT.

3. I Like Bjork – That’s right. Her. I know what everyone says, but I don’t care. Yes, she’s totally weird. Yes, her music isn’t really all that accessible. But, somewhere in my crazy head, I’ve got this thing for her unabashed and fearless talent. If lovin’ Bjork is wrong, I don’t wanna be right.

4. I Was Captain Of The Football Team…And Quit – Weird thing. When I was in high school, I started playing football as a junior? Why? Because my girlfriend at the time was a cheerleader and I thought it would be totally cool to have her cheer for me. (see? GEEK!) Well, I must’ve done something right that year, because I got nominated as one of two football captains for my senior year. Since she graduated and wasn’t around anymore, I didn’t have much interest. Four games into the season, I hung up the helmet for good.

5. I Own The Dukes of Hazzard – Season 1 on DVD – I know this is old news, but I actually had someone come up to me at the club (where I watch DVDs while I workout) and he stood there and shook his head. He saw Crazy Cooter (comin’ atcha!) or something on the screen and had to give me a hard time. I deserved it. Funny thing? I totally want to get Season 2. It’s so bad, it’s good!

6. I’m Like a Movie Trivia Mastermind! – It’s an uncanny talent (curse?), but I can name just about any movie during the opening credits before the title pops up. Looking to figure out what movie what’s her name was in with who’s his face? Chances are, I know…even if I haven’t seen it. I totally should’ve been on this show.

7. I Seem To Like the Word ‘Totally’ Today – Check it out. All of the previous posts have the word ‘totally’ in there somewhere. Huh. I never thought of myself as a valley girl. That’s totally crazy.

8. I Obsess Over Words – See #7. But it’s true. I lock onto a word or even a dumb catch-phrase (usually one I made up) and I just can’t get enough of it. Does the word ‘value’ come to mind? It should! Also, I have a list of words and word combinations I don’t like. Example: In line at Chipotle, some guy asked for ‘fresh tomatoes’ in his burrito. Ugh! It’s hard to even say without lisping. FRESH TOMATOES!

9. I Write Kids Books – Sure, that in and of itself doesn’t make me a geek. Combine me being a rough n’ tough firefighter/EMT as a part-time gig and you’ve got a perfect recipe for geekery. Heck, they even did a totally(!) dumb article in the Woodbury Bulletin about me. It was sort of cool, I guess, except they put in my favorite color, my dog’s name and other goofy tidbits. When the blokes at my fire department got hold of it, it was about 3 months worth of ribbing.

10. I Was A Drama Geek – What was I doing in high school when I wasn’t playing football for 1.3 seasons? I was hamming it up on stage, of course. Yes. I was a drama geek. I got to play some cool parts: King Creon from Antigone, Ponyboy Curtis from The Outsiders, Roderick Rodent in The Face on the Bar Room Floor, and (in my acting debut!) I was Lieutenant Scheisskopf in Catch 22. Awww…yeah. I had like 2 lines. But you know, that was pretty geeky in the early 90’s.

11. I Argue About Star Wars – I will get into heated discussions about Star Wars with people. No, I won’t defend the newest movies that for the most part stunk, but I can sling dirt with the best of ’em when it comes to talking about bounty hunters, hyperdrives, why it was cooler that Han Solo shot first, and how dumb Luke’s haircut looked in Return of the Jedi. Convinced I’m an Uber Geek yet?

12. I Collect Pint Glasses – Here’s the funny (geeky) thing about this. I don’t even drink beer that often, nor do I hang out at bars all that much. But…I just love getting pint glasses from different bars and beer companies all around this great country of ours. Seriously. If I see a glass I like I (usually) ask the waitress or bartender if I can buy one off of them. They’re like $3, but I can’t get enough of them. Thomas, I cry foul. This does not make you a geek. Oh yeah? Well, I drink my skim milk and orange juice out of them. It’s a rare day when I’ll drink a Miller High Life in one of my quality glasses. Geek.

13. I Have A Britney Spears Song On My iPod – Just one, I swear. It’s that dumb song Toxic that has the really catchy music that goes along with it. I don’t like her music, nor do I care for her too much, but I uploaded the song from one of my wife’s CDs. Please. Go easy on me. It’s not easy being Geeky.